the inspector's first visit

After some emails back and forth, it was determined that the two inspectors couldn't "make head or tails" out of the building plans we had submitted, despite my assurance that the house had been surveyed. Twice inside and twice outside. I gave them the original surveys. No go. Guess which part made no sense? Yep. Uncle Louie strikes again. They couldn't quite believe what they saw on paper.

So the inspector came, he saw, he measured, and said, "it didn't make sense when I saw it on paper, and now that I see it in person, it makes even less. It's so...so..."

"There is no adjective you can possibly think of that hasn't been used by a builder, designer, contractor, architect, or real estate agent already. And I've used all the rude ones." I added helpfully.

I pointed out that a corner of the kitchen was held up by a piece of bannister. That the original railing was knee-height and wide enough for a toddler to walk through into a 10-foot pit of death. That the door swept open across the landing of the t-shaped stairs, thus sweeping unsuspecting kiddies down the stairs. "And yet, the City approved it."

"We only approve code, not design, " then added that the "playroom" little bodies were flying into was only approved as a storage space. Ah, so it's our fault for using the space inappropriately. What were we thinking?

The inspector made me nervous as he poked around here and there in the basement measuring things, scratching his head, mumbling a lot of "what the...?" and "why would they...?" He measured the garage, such as it is, and determined it's too short by two feet. The wall has to come down. The door needs to be self-closing, the walls and ceiling need to be sealed. The ceiling height in two rooms wasn't high enough for much of anything. Floor space, yes. Living space, no. Have I mentioned that NONE of the renos are in the basement?

And then there was the "grade level" to determine zoning. Oh boy.

He couldn't quite believe the surveys, but when he measured from window sill to ground level, then from ground to floor, there was a lot of muttering and shaking of head.

And that's a whole entry by itself.