the (first) conditions

We received our first response September 7th. It had "conditions" as follows:

1. Fan required for bathroom in basement.
2. Not permitted to enter sleeping room directly from parking garage.
3. Please complete the attached Zoning Bylaw Requirement document (excluding height).
4. Provide cross-section showing ceiling heights to joists and beams for playroom and crawlspaces, and games/utility room.
5. Stairs to playroom and games room to be minimum 34 inches wide.

I responded to the conditions, via email as follows:

Bathroom Fan
The basement bathroom has a fan. Previous owners had a bathroom installed to which we added a fan. It exhausts appropriately, but I'm not sure I could find plans for that. Would a photo or visual inspection suffice?

[turns out the "fan" is code for "you have a bathroom on your plans which previously didn't exist; therefore, it must be inspected to make sure it is up to code." So our lovely updated bathroom needs to be inspected. I wonder what they'd have thought if they'd seen the original curtained throne room with the camper sink and the awesome sponge painted walls...]

Door from Garage to Sleeping Area
We have no intention of using the space labelled "guest room/utility room" as a guest room. Our intention was simply to finish the space properly while we had contractors onsite as it is unfinished at the moment. "Guest Room" was a suggestion of the designer as we were discussing finishing the space into "something more usable." As we never use the garage for parking vehicles with exhaust, it did not occur to me to ask her to change the label on the adjoining room. Can we do so now?

[you can't have a sleeping area next to a garage. So I renamed the "guest room" to "storage space." We have a lot of storage space now. Our "garage" has not been used as a garage since at least 1976 which is when they poured a new driveway and made a 3 inch vertical drop into the garage. But according to bylaw, we have to have "indoor parking." Nevermind that the garage is 2 inches shorter than our van and directly under our bedroom window. We need to take down the back wall, seal the entire room, put a self-closing door on the garage, sell our van and by an Austin mini with a sunroof. And why? Oh yes, so we can add to our kitchen. Upstairs. ]

Zoning Bylaw Document (excluding heights)
My husband was sure he had included this document which leads me to believe that we missed something in filling out the forms.

[It was there. And filled out. The guy just didn't see it. Or was he messing with us?]

Cross-section of utility room
This cross section is available on the original house plans which I also have copies of - obtained from City Hall.

[the cross-section was to make sense of the Uncle Louie Special and sort out floor space. More on that later. Much more.]

Oh my. This was just the beginning... fill your wine glass and settle in...