In the meantime...some before and afters

Back room/living room

Back room/bedroom

Brown room

Green room

Big door

Little door

We've got water in the basement which needs to be fixed - discovered the day the painter finished. And we're waiting on the inspector to approve the upgrade for the water line, then there's the fridge door issue, and the hood f - ing fan, and the washer and dryer are going to open into each other still because they installed them the way they are now and not the way we wanted them. Because, after a quick annoyed survey, contractors don't do laundry. Clearly, they are also believers in the laundry fairy. Now, a very annoyed laundry fairy, whose washer/dryer doors open toward each other and block access to the sink.

For sale: Bosch washer/dryer set plus pedestals $500; one insert-style hood fan and blower $500; sanity $priceless [update: sold 'em! Sanity went cheap, as of questionable quality]

Oh yes - and the big door/little door photos? That's the conversion from a family room to our bedroom. The framing went up while I was out one day. Caught me by surprise. I didn't know they were going to frame it so fast and I hadn't moved the couch out yet and it won't fit through the little door, so now I have a couch in my bedroom.Totally planned.

In the meantime, Dave found out he is eligible for the surgery he wanted, but big surprise, the first date is July 11th. That's two weeks from now folks! Nothing like looming open-heart surgery to get you energized. So here is a before and after photo of the back room. Don't worry, I'll get new furniture and pictures on walls over time. And curtains. This ain't HGTV. This here is the REAL housewives reality show. Worry lines included.

the mystery box

What is it? A time capsule? An exotic built-in cabinet? Or just the head room for the basement stairs? And what will it become? The kids vote for a fireman's pole to the basement or a pit, so they can chuck things at each other. I'm thinking a giant vase. or a hookah with a big caterpillar painted on the wall.

Fridge and stove arrive, but don't get excited

They never talk about appliances on HGTV. Other than colour. Ours are stainless steel, if that matters to you. And they are here. But not hooked up. Actually, they came before the floor in the kitchen because the fridge doors can't open. The kitchen guy did some measurements and pointed out that the door will hit the glass door when fully opened. Oops.

Look! A new floor!

Actually, the oops is that I knew that. I didn't like the initial design for that exact reason and had it changed. Then I got all excited about having a closet space for my gardening jacket and shoes (hey, my life rocks, what can i say). Then when we tested out the overall space by putting chalk marks on the floor and bringing the table and chairs in, we realized that there really wasn't much room if we added 18 inches for a closet. Plus, the closet would be really deep for a coat and shoes. So, we decided not to bother. I bet you've forgotten about the fridge door too, haven't you? See? Easy to do.

Long story short, the fridge came in, we did a bunch of test door openings and now I have my closet back!

The stove and fridge were to arrive between 12 and 2. I was walking Max, and got back at 12:15. Oops again. A note on the door said, "We can't fit the appliances through any of your doors. Have a nice day!" I'm not kidding. Turns out they were right.

So to recap the series of unfortunate events: I missed a design goof-up which required the fridge and stove to arrive before the back stairs were built and they wouldn't fit through any of the other doors. Sooo, they delivered them into my garage, then I paid $500 on top of the delivery charge to have four contractors move some temporary stairs around to the kitchen, then hoist the appliances up and into the kitchen. Yay me! My small consolation is that the stairs would have had to move at some point anyway.

In the meantime, my cabinets sit at the kitchen guy's shop, half built, waiting for the final measurements and the specs for the new f@!#ing hood fan. And we wash dishes in the laundry tub, cook in the basement, and eat out...

The "God, this takes forever" phase, Part III: Return of the Hood Fan

I hate hood fans. People on HGTV are never "oh, is that only in a 600 to 1200 cfm model? Well, that's just not going to work, is it?" No. On HGTV, it's all "oooo, I love the granite countertops. And everything is so open! And look at the view! But the pool is small. And gosh, only one walk in closet."

I need to reiterate at this point that watching HGTV has much much drinking game potential.

Back to the hood fan. There are three styles of hood fan (okay, there are the big-ass fancy ones for homes with giant islands, but I think we can safely ignore them for the moment): the chimney-style, wherein a person walks in a small kitchen and says, "your hood fan is gorgeous! and what a nice kitchen too." Then there is the under-the-counter style - the most common, where the duct goes up through a cupboard that holds oils or cookbooks or some such. Finally, there is an insert-style which is a little on the fancy side and requires millwork.

We started with a chimney-style hood fan. My "kitchen guy" looked mildly disgusted when I told him what I had ordered as it wouldn't "fit with the feel of the room." We're apparently going for a 1940s look...without all the bright red, green, or pink cupboards, gingham curtains, and giant white appliances. That is, a 1940s "inspired" look.Or something. All I know is that the kitchen guy does nice work and I have no flipping idea about things like hood fans. So, I said, "No problem, the appliance guy said that he'd call us before he sent our order to confirm the hood fan style." Which he hadn't done, as it turned out. But we were able to talk our way into paying more (wait, is that a good thing?) for an insert style hood fan and blower. Hooray?!

Two weeks later, the kitchen guy looks at the specs for the hood fan and says, "You do realize that this is a 36" wide hood fan and you have a 30" wide stove?"To which I said, "what?" because I love looking like an idiot - which is a good thing because I so often do. Another little thing you never see on HGTV: homeowners looking confused. Homeowners looking baffled. Homeowners looking murderous.

My kitchen guy was gentle, "Don't worry. We'll just hang hockey helmets on either side of the hood fan. No problem." To his credit, he took the appliance store to task because he sends a lot of folks their way and they should have caught the error. And his tirade was effective...I just bought an under counter hood fan at another store. Anyone need an expensive 36" insert-style hood fan???

Did I mention I hate hood fans?